Do You Even Care that I am Broken, Hurting and Drowning in Pain? | Oluwatoyosi Gabriel-Adesuyi

 

Ouwatoyosi Adesuyi

A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped.

Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. (Mark Chapter 4 vs 37-39)

There have been stages in my life where I have asked God questions;

“Lord, don’t you even care that I am hurting? Don’t you care that I am in pains? Don’t you care that I am lonely? Don’t you care that I have been abused, rejected and ignored?”

All these times, I got no direct response.

It took me years and years of pain, seeking for love and acceptance, wallowing in serious self condemnation before I got to the realisation that God actually cares.

How was I supposed to believe that this God I haven’t seen truly exists, let alone believe He loves the ‘insignificant’ me? After all, He has left me all alone to face the hard knocks of life all by myself.

It just didn’t make any sense. My whole world was crumbling and this God seemed to watching me fall apart.

Eventually, when I couldn’t take it anymore…I locked myself up in a room and cried out to Him who I called ‘Father’. That day, something shifted inside of me. My father showed up!

When I had reached rock bottom and had no where else to go but up… God showed up for me!


It was then that the scripture “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” began to make sense to me.
He held me really close and made me realise that He had always been there all along.

Just like the disciples, when it felt like I was drowning and closed in, I cried for help and Jesus showed up because He had been in the boat of my life all along.

He had always been close but I had been too engrossed with ‘trying to work it out myself’ thinking I was trusting in Him.

Do you know its possible to be declaring your faith in God but a part of you is consciously or unconsciously trying to work things out yourself?

God wants all or nothing.

You are either trusting Him completely or not trusting Him at all. No half measures, no cutting corners, no looking side ways but looking up to Him!

Total surrender brought me to my knees. I felt heaven move on my behalf and my healing process began that day.

If you have been wondering if God really cares about what you are going through. The answer is YES!

However, have you come to a place of total surrender yet?

Your healing is close because your Healer is close. Surrender completely to Jesus and enjoy beauty for ashes.

Like he did with the disciples, He would command the storm in your life to be quiet and you would enjoy peace.

I am praying for you!

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